The year in review (with a little forecast of what's to come)

I acknowledged a truth about myself a couple of days ago. I like science fiction and fantasy books. That should come as no surprise as I started the year reading two science fiction books and I ended the year reading two fantasy books. Nevertheless, if asked whether or not I was sci fi fan at this point last year, I would have firmly responded in the negative. I've read a few of those books, but that doesn't make me a fan of the genre. Besides, the people who read those books get dressed up for conventions, play Warcraft, and hang out a Reniassance fairs. That's not me. Well, I may not fit the stereotype, but I have to confess that I really like the genre.

Learning to accept truths about myself no matter how they may be viewed by some imaginary image jury that only exists in my head is one of the things I've definitely gotten better at this year. It started with buying that shirt. The process of selecting and buying a polo shirt with some details forced me to look at how I acquire clothes (which means taking a look at how I present myself). When I honestly evaluated my approach to style, I realized that I was still stuck in my high school mindset. That wasn't an easy truth for me to accept, but recognizing that fact was important. I realized that I needed to honestly critique my assumptions if I was ever going to change.

The next big question is, assuming I'm going to change, what should I change into? A quick look at my resolutions gives some insight into what I want to change about myself. Why did I choose these things to change? Let's take it on resolution at a time. The waist measurement was just my wrinkle to the perennial resolution to lose weight. I did lose weight. I'm down 10 pounds or so from last year at this time, but I was headed towards achieving this goal until I stopped working out and lost my desire to eat responsibly. I'm working towards getting back on track, but until I really acknowledge why I want to lose weight, I'll keep slipping back into my old ways. I want to be healthy, and I tell myself that's my motivation, but I really want to look good naked. I hate having a roll around my stomach. I don't need to see my abs or anything. I would just like my trunk to lack bulges.

I added the law school resolution to recognize all the effort that I put into my law school applications in the annual resolution review. I also knew it was something that I would be able to check off come resolution review time. The broader question is why I bothered applying in the first place. Despite the arguments that I made to myself about the alternative career, it was really more about seeing how well I could do on the LSAT. Once I had the LSAT score, it seemed like a waste to not apply to a few schools, especially once the fee waivers started coming in. I really enjoyed the challenge of the entire process. It was a challenge that pushed my intellectual abilities. I relish those kinds of challenges. I didn't really want to attend law school, I just wanted the challenge of the classes. (If it wasn't so damned expensive and I wasn't doing this MBA thing, it would be fun to take class, just to see how I could do). That just to see how I could do is a big element of my attraction to intellectual challenges. I'm getting that with my MBA classes. The MBA will be a great credential for my career, but I'm really motivated by the challenge to see how well I can learn the material.

Buying no more than 8 books (and reading 16 of them) has dominated this blog (at least that's my impression, I haven't reread much of what I've written). Books have always been a big part of my life. I'm an introvert. I get more pleasure from reading than going to a big party (although that statement can be modified depending on the party). Unfortunately, I tend to acquire new interests that I follow up with reading material faster than I can read the books that I bought following my previous interest in a topic. I want to read what I have, but the more I buy, the less likely I will be able to read the books I already own. I was hoping the eight book limit would slow my buying down enough that I could catch up a little bit. I read plenty this year, but only 6 of the 25 books I read this year were in my library on January 1, 2010. The other 19 were either new purchases or library books. I just want to focus on a topic and get to know it in depth. I'm so spastic with my reading material that I don't make much progress down any one road.

The Dickens resolution is my statement towards getting more intimate with a topic. By focusing on reading at least one Dickens novel a year, I get that much more acquainted with a particular writer. The only problem with Dickens is the length of his novels. It's takes so long to make it through one. They always go fast at the end, but getting to that point can require getting through some tedium. I'll keep that resolution on my list without modification until I've read all of his novels. I'll pick a new author after that. Next time I'll pick somebody who can tell their story in under 500 pages.

The Spartacus challenge was on my list to motivate me to workout, but it's along the lines of looking good naked. That workout really works. I had plans to do it a few times over my holiday break, but I have been able to hit the gym often enough that I don't need to use it here at the house. That may change in the coming weeks.

I need to get more sleep. There is nothing else to say about that.  

As for next year. The biggest challenge will be buying 0 books (excluding textbooks for my classes). I will be shocked if I can go a whole year without purchasing a new book, but Tiffany has given me a nice incentive to keep my eye on the prize. I've been making a few purchases to get me through the year over the last several days. With my new found acceptance of my taste for fantasy, I've bought the rest of the Song of Fire and Ice (4 books), a new fantasy trilogy (3 books, duh), 2 books from a rather large fantasy saga, and the first book in a new series. Only one book has been written so I figured it won't hurt to get the whole series with a single purchase. I can't read school stuff during odd times so the fantasy books provide plenty of entertainment during the kids videos or other boring times.

I like the look better naked resolution. It's a vague target, but I think it captures the essence of what I'm shooting for better than a boring number.

I don't know how to set my book reading target for the year. I would do one a week, but that's not realistic with my classes. Besides, some of these fantasy books that I just bought are mighty thick. I think I will try for one a week when I don't have class. Anything over that will just be gravy. While I'm on the topic of books, one of the books I read in 2011 will be by Charles Dickens.

I'll try to come up with a couple more resolutions, but that's a good start.

Lessons from a Jigsaw Puzzle

The pictures on a puzzle are just a filtering mechanism for the pieces. Getting the puzzle together requires you to look past the picture and focus on the shape of each piece. Once you see the structure, the picture helps narrow down which pieces go where, but it's not needed to find which piece goes where.

There's a deeper lesson there. Surfaces features, appearances, are easy to see. Those obvious features may be hiding something more important. Looking past the surface and trying to see how things fit together could lead to important connections or insights.

Christmas Reflections

I've long debated making a comment at this post at the HBR blogs. I read a paper by the psychologist mentioned in that post earlier this year. The discovery of that paper, and the work of another psychologist, Simonton, have been two of my best discoveries for 2010. My comment would be in response to the people who don't believe the research discussed in the post because it implies that natural talent is not a necessary trait for people to achieve elite status in a chosen field. People mention elite athletes first as contrary examples of the research. They could never play tennis as well as Roger Federer or run as fast as Usain Bolt. That's true, now, but what if you had started playing tennis when you were 5 years old and had focused all of your time, energy, and effort on becoming the best tennis player you could possibly be? Would you still not be able to compete at an elite level? Jamaica is a very small country but there are a disproportionally large number of world class sprinters from Jamaica. Why? Well, it must be genetic. Maybe, but what if a segment of our population started racing at a young age and spent a lot of time and effort learning how to run faster? They do that in Jamaica.

Talent is an excuse for not being elite. It's easy to look at somebody who writes really well or gives really great presentations and simply say that they're good because they have an innate knack. The presence or absence of that knack is outside of your control. No knack, no pressure to excel. Ericsson proposes a different variable for elite performance. Focused and deliberate practice leads to elite performance in the Ericsson model. This work must be dreary, hard, and unpleasant in order to improve performance. In this model, the barrier to excellence isn't innate ability but a conscious decision to get better and the dedication and comitment to put in the work needed to achieve that goal. Simply sitting at a keyboard and pounding out blog posts won't make you a better writer. The effort must be directed towards improvement. 10,000 hours (or 10 years) seems to be a magical number toward reaching superior performance. It's not just passively doing something to pass the time that counts. Practice demands the same energy and focus as a performance if you want to get better. That's a heavy price.

The only thing that holds us back from getting better is ourself.

What next?

I just finished my 26th book of the year. Now I'm faced with the big question of what to read next. I told myself that I was going to use this time between my classes to read something challenging, but I'm not sure what that really means. I need to take a look at my shelves to see what strikes my interest. I'm thinking novel but I may go with one of my history books or a biography. Hard to say at this point.

I could also read something on my iPod. I downloaded the Kindle app a couple of days ago. I found the free classics. I limited myself to downloading two. I've been reading A Christmas Carol here and there, but I was so close to finishing A Game of Thrones that I put focused my reading time on that. The reader will be nice going into next year. Seeing how pathetic I was with limiting myself to 8 books for the year, I've decided that next year I'm not going to buy any new books (other than school books of course). I can shop in a store and go home and download the book for free (as long as I stick to classics with expired trademarks anyway). The decision to go cold turkey has also prompted me to get what I want now. I will be buying the rest of the Song of Fire and Ice before the year is out (I'll try to get it used or as cheap as I can on Amazon). I bought a bio of Henry James when I bought one of my school books for next year. I have a week to figure out if there is anything else that I need before the year is out. It's going to be tough.

With the semester over...

I really have no idea of what to do with myself. I submitted my final paper for my management class a little after 10 last night. I feel asleep soon after that so I didn't have to worry about what to do last night. I was on my own as of 9:45 tonight. I read for a little while before coming downstairs to drink the rest of my beer (Legend's Octoberfest, I bought a 40 of it at the grocery store today). I've been poking around the internet since then.

I went back and checked on one of my old favorites, the top law school forums. I read one thread about what to read before starting law school. It's the same stuff that people were writing about when I was following the threads more closely. The farther away from my law school decision I get, the better I feel about not going. Law school is the easy choice for somebody who wants a fancy job and a little prestige. As I found through my experience, it's not really all that difficult to get in to a decent school. Once you're there, the path to success is laid out nice and clear for anybody with the guts to put in the study hours. Get good grades, get good summer job, get hired, work like crazy, lots of money. Follow the leader all the way to the big paycheck. The hard part seems to be more about your willingness to forfeit a life for your profession rather than any real individual skill.

I like my job when I make a contribution that only I can make. The routine stuff bores me because it's all about following the procedure and checking the boxes. Yawn. I'm quietly coming to realize that this trait is both my biggest asset and a big liability. It helps me when I'm in the right situation, but I could do better about doing top work on the routine stuff. I'm too quick to dismiss it as boring and irrelevant. I'm hoping to make a stronger shift into management type of problems this year. That's a new challenge so the more routine aspect of things won't be boring. If I don't take another MBA class again, my management class was worth the trouble just for the perspective it gave me on what management really means.

The end of the year is coming. That means it's time to assess where I am with my resolutions. All in good time.