Working for her

I just read several posts that my wife wrote while I was in New Orleans for work last week. Several times, she mentions that I never have to work for her. I have to confess that I'm not really sure that I know what that means. When I was icing my sac after my vasectomy in March, I sat and plotted out how I could fix the problems that I had caused by stubbornly refusing the delay my surgery. I ended up not needing those plans, but that's the closest I can come to having a picture of what working for her looks like.

She also went into detail about her feelings that I settled for her. Those comments really upset me. We've been through some pretty heavy stuff in our relationship, but I've never thought about leaving her. I love her too much. Maybe we could debate the first couple of months of our relationship, but once I fell in love with her, I've never wavered. She seems to have a much bigger issue with my lack of serious relationships prior to her than I do. We had a great night last weekend, but rather than just be pleased with the outcome, she questions the validity of my judgement. It's frustrating for me. She's making issues where there are no issues to worry about.

The bittersweet thrill of a library book sale

I spent $10 at the VCU Friends of the Library book sale last week. That got me three hardback books, three paperbacks, and 4 comics. I made a really nice find of an organizational behavior book, The Social Psychology of Organizations. That book is going for $50 on Amazon. I paid $2 for it. I've already read one of the books, The Ideological Origins of the American Revolution, but I've wanted my own copy for awhile. I won't add these books to my book list. I save that for books that I buy new (which I have also been doing).

Finding good books cheap is always a thrill, but when I see all of these books that were once cherished and displayed in book cases being discarded for next to nothing, I feel a pange of angst about my own mortal coil. Will my books end up in a book sale when I die? I have always had this notion that my kids will cherish my books just as much as I do. That's not really fair to them. I'm sure they'll develop their own tastes in books. Who's to say that it will overlap with mine. Maybe I just need to develop a network of fellow book lovers as I mature. I would rather slowly give my books away as I get older rather than leave it to my kids to dump them on a library for cheap disposal.

Expert Advice

Another lesson from playing fantasy football (well, more of a question really); why do we rely so much on the opinions of experts? Especially in things like fantasy sports, the stock market, job hunting, and other realms. Fantasy sports I kind of understand, I don't have the time (or inclination really) to delve into the details of every player's stats, trends, and match-ups. It's easier to see what other people think and use that analysis to guide my decision. But at the end of the day, it's all a guess anyway. We can make all kinds of arguments for what might happen, but ultimately we're using past performance to predict future performance. That's always a dicey proposition. My guess about what might happen in a game is just as good as some guy on TV. We're just making a guess about the future. He may have more information, but that doesn't make it any better. The same thing can be said about the stock market. Information galore does not guarantee a better prediction. The application of rationality to an irrational situation still results in an irrational outcome.The more irrational the situation, the more we seem to rely on "experts" to lead the way. Why?

I already did algebra in high school

I've spent a good chunk of my study time this week working algebra problems for my finance class. I kind of like doing them, they're fun little puzzles, but do I really need to spend all of this time working problems where I use one ratio to figure out a term in another? It feels kind of like busy work to me. We'll see what the test is like. It looks like Saturday nights are going to be my test taking nights. What a fun way to spend the weekend! It's part of this process though. I have to use all of the time at my disposal. Every hour counts.

I finished The Black Swan today. That brings me up to 21 books. I realized that if I can get to 26 I will have averaged a book every 2 weeks. That's not too shabby, especially given that I'm doing this whole online school thing. The next book in the Wheel of Time series comes out soon. That will be 22 this year. I just need to find 4 books to read over the next 3 months. I should really try to find something that I can use for my management class. That would be killing 2 birds with one stone.

A little gap

I feel a little ahead in my studies this week. I was very into the organizational behavior topics last week so I wanted to write nice forum posts about employee engagement and job satisfaction. This week we're discussing personality traits and value statements. I don't find those topics as interesting. We're talking about ratio analysis in Finance. That's just an extension of what we discussed last week so it's not as demanding as learning something entirely new. It's nice to have a short breather. It's been an intense few weeks with a full schedule at work, these classes at night, and very busy weekends. I'll take a slower paced week.

I wore a pair of size 34 pants today. It's nice to know that I'm making progress. To think I almost got rid of those pants too. I'm also making my way through The Black Swan (which reminds me, there are interesting aspects to the chapters that we're readying in OB, creativity and decision making biases being two examples, but those topics were not posted as forum questions. Maybe I should try to get those topics into a post...). I really thought I was done meeting resolutions. I could be wrong about that. (I'm definitely missing the sleep one, there's no doubt about that one.)

I've been prepping for online school for months...

Little did I know that I was getting ready for taking online classes when I started writing blog entries. The forum discussion is basically a series of blog posts. Everybody has their own style and emphasis. It's interesting if a little dissonate at times. There isn't much of a conversation, with people using other's comments to build on their own ideas, but kind of parallel discussions around a similar topic. We'll see how things progress as the semester proceeds.

I have begun to realize that I may be able to tone down my effort on some assignments. I won't tone down my effort to engage with the material, but I can probably aim a little lower on what gets turned in, at least on some assignments, and still get the same grade. I'll have to see how things go in the next couple of weeks. I don't want to burn too intense early on and have nothing left for the end of the semester.

I've been sticking to my workouts. My pants are starting to get too big so I figure I'm making progress on my waist size. I have also been improving on my ability to do pull-ups. I was never very good at them, even when I was in good shape. I have made it a point to do a few everytime I go to the gym. Maybe next year I'll make a resolution to get up to 20 of them at once or something (a set of 5 is my max now). That's next year. I still have plenty to focus on THIS year.

It's going to suck anyway...

Wisdom from Marines going through Recon training. It's going to suck anyway so you might as well just dig in and put out. That idea resonated with me at the moment. I heard this little nugget while watching Making the Cut on the Discovery Channel on Wednesday night before going upstairs to study. I was going through one of those phases when you're doing something new where you start to wonder if you made the right decision. I was trying to get a feel for how these online classes were going to work and I started to get a sense of the scale of my project. Most of it is just working through the uncertainty of how each week will work with assignments, forum participation, and keeping up with the material. While I was snagging a few minutes of working out before reading about financital statements, hearing guys getting their ass handed to them by some very intense training made me take a second look at what I've gotten myself into. I can do it. It may not always be fun, but I know it's the best move for me and my family. Some nights I won't want to hit the books, but digging in and putting in those kind of nights are what will separate me from everybody else. I want it. I will find a way to make it work.