A deliberate step

I have another job interview on Friday. No trips to other cities for this one. I just have to walk down the hall from my desk at work. After being buried in a flat organization for the last two and half years, I finally have a chance to move up the hierarchy. It's me and one other guy. My instincts tell me that the other guy is the preferred candidate going into the interview panel, but I suspect that I have a better story to tell. I have the better story because I want the job more than he does. 

I had to talk myself into applying for this position, but I need to take this active step towards something different in my life. I know that in one of my previous posts I noted that my efforts to improve my position, law school applications, interviews at companies in other cities, even my MBA classes, don't come with any real risk. I was never going to go to law school or move to Boston. My MBA doesn't challenge my comfort zone. All these things that I do to convince myself that I'm doing something (all while looking for ways that people can notice me and give me some praise) are all for show. There is no risk of failure, and as such there is real opportunity to succeed. 

I'm a little scared about the prospect of getting this job. I don't fully know what to expect. That's the reason why I need it. It makes me uncomfortable. It's also not something that I'm drifting into. Sure, there could be other opportunities in a month or two that are more aligned with my inherent drives, but this is the point where I need to do something unexpected. Doing what fits with my current path will juts be more of what I'm doing now. I don't want more pie. I want to try something that I might not be any good at. Or maybe I'll excel. I don't know which is more likely and that's why I want to take a crack at being a manager.