As has been a family tradition since 2002, the wife and I drafted our Resolutions for the new year. I should probably start using a template because I basically have the same list of goals every year. Read x books (I went with 35 after reading 31 this year), lose some weight (I set a goal weight of 215, that's losing about 10 pounds), try to reduce the number of books that I own but have not read (I took a new tactic this year, saying I want to get under 140, so I can buy books all I want as long as I am reading them as well, I'm at 158 right now so I have some progress to make), reading a Dickens work (it's been on there for years) and some kind of fitness goal around lifting, running, or rowing (or some of each, I did the 20 pullups again this year, I didn't want to add a running goal as staying healthy and keeping at it is likely my biggest priority).
Part of making new resolutions is reviewing progress against last year's goals. I did not fare very well. I set very ambitious goals last year and failed to achieve most of them. This is pretty much the standard outcome. I have years and years of resolutions with mostly x's next to the goal rather than a check. My approach is clearly not very effective. Just trying harder is probably not the best approach. What could I do differently? Well, let's take a look at a few of my 2020 resolutions and see where I feel short. 2020 is not the best year to find trends and patterns that can be applied in a general sense, but reviewing my year is a useful exercise.
First failed goal, buy no new books. I realized this goal one year so I use it every now and then to force myself to read the books I have already bought. I was doing well on this one until May or June. I found Thriftbooks and needed something to look forward to after weeks and weeks of being trapped at home with my kids. I ended up buying 22 books. Given that I also read a bunch of books I borrowed from the library (16, or half the books I read this year), I had negative progress on my Bookshelf Zero project (I have more unread books sitting on my shelves, 158 of them, now than I did at this time last year, only 148). It would be easy to attribute my failure on this goal to COVID and try to find some trick to increase my resistance to buying new books, but that misses a bigger point. This is a bad goal. It only results in a big buying binge once my embargo ends. The question isn't why did I buy books (book shopping has been something that has brought me immense joy for pretty much my entire life), but why didn't I read more of the books I already have on my shelf? (Short answer, I buy too many hard books that I just don't have the mental energy to take on when I have so many other options easily available.)
So no books was a bad goal. Another goal that I missed, and not for the first time, was running a total of 1000 miles. I was very close to this target a couple of years so I thought it was something that I could manage with a consistent effort over an entire year. I was marathon training the two years I ran over 900 miles, but I figured a consistent effort around 20 miles a week was something I could manage even though I wasn't marathon training. The goal was still in range until my knee just gave out on me and I had to stop running. I was already behind after taking a couple of weeks to let my foot recover from some kind of strain. I am still working back from the injury. It's clear that I need to spend more time doing weight training. Rowing also seems to help. Time is the issue. If I spend an hour running, I don't really have another 20 minutes to stretch and roll. Well, I could probably find the time but I would rather sit around and read Twitter or engage in some other time wasting activity. Was this a good goal? It was consistent with my goal to increase my running volume. I have successfully run the volume necessary to meet this distance in previous years. Injury cost me the goal, but if I had not had to stop running I probably would have missed the goal. That miss would be the result of not giving myself enough time to run the distance needed to hit 20 miles a week. I tend to put off running until I have just enough time to get in a few miles and still be ready for work or whatever else is in my day. Getting up earlier pre-COVID or getting an earlier start to my run once I was working from home would have allowed me to get more miles. I usually wasted time on Doctor Mario or something else rather than getting out for my run.
I missed my rowing target too. Realizing both the running and rowing goal would be a true accomplishment. Finding time for both on top of my other commitments would be an indication of true commitment on my part. I guess I thought I would find time to both run about 20 miles a week and row 2 or 3 times a week. Events actually conspired to make this goal realizable. I was home pretty much all year. I could have added some rowing meters here or there. I rarely found that level of commitment to my physical fitness. COVID definitely screwed with my mental state. I was borderline depressed for a good chunk of the year. I'm still struggling with all the bullshit implementations that are such a big part of life right now. I'm not going to be too hard on myself for missing this goal. I was thinking big when I gave myself two big workout volume goals, but I definitely could have found ways to get closer with the rowing goal. Consistently rowing 10,000 m on Sunday would be a huge step to meeting a rowing goal. Now, not staying up until 1 or 2 on Saturday nights would be a big step in finding the time to make this happen.
I was not able to get 13 reps with 225 lbs on the bench. The gyms being closed for a big chunk of the year put this one in jeopardy. I did plenty of workouts in the garage with the dumbbells, but not having the heavy weights really makes developing this kind of strength difficult. This goal is very realizable. I just have to consistently workout 3 times a week. I was seeing myself going to the gym at lunch when I made this goal. I had half day Fridays. I just needed to get to the gym on Monday and Wednesday and I was there. This was not an unrealistic expectation given what I knew in January. I didn't know that I would be working from home with my kids at home.or be transitioning into a role that isn't conducive to the 45 to 60 minute (or longer) lunch breaks needed to get in a good workout. This was probably the fitness goal that I had the best chance of realizing if 2020 hadn't been 2020. Prioritizing workout time would have been required, but getting to the gym is much easier for me than getting out to run.
A quick digression to remind myself of how these different goals compete with one another. I have forgotten what it feels like to get up a 5 to run. Going to the gym on Mondays after having gotten up at 5 after staying up late the night before was not always the easiest choice to make. The quality of my workout wasn't always the best on these days. Just getting in the lifting is better than nothing, but feeling like garbage while working out is not a recipe for success. Starting to see a pattern here...
I didn't read a Dickens work. They're hard books to get into. This is why I haven't read so many of the books I own. Little Dorritt is not a small book. Dickens always ends well, but you have to slog through a couple hundred pages to get that payoff. The last 200 pages of Bleak House are fantastic, but you have to make it through the many pages required to set up that payoff first. It's an effort. It also takes a long time. I could read two or three normal length books in the time it takes me to read one Dickens book. Realizing the Dickens goal will likely put me behind on a reading volume goal. All the time I spent reading about COVID (and playing Dr Mario) this year was time I was not spending on reading books. I got behind on my reading goal early after starting the year with two long books (Twenty Thousand Streets Under the Sky and the Wind Up Bird Chronicle) and I never caught back up. Well, I didn't realize that I set my resolution goal at 30 but my Goodreads goal at 40. I met the 30 goal but feel well short of the 40 book goal. I could have fit a Dickens book in, even with the COVID stuff. Dr Mario cost me this goal. Deleting that app from my phone was one of my best decisions of the year.
I am giving myself credit for the Modern Library resolution. I wanted to read 4 of them. I'm an hour from finishing number 4. This is an interesting reading project as some of the books are big and difficult, looking at you Ulysses, but others are short reads that are actually very pleasant reading. Appointment at Samarra was fantastic. I'm very much enjoying Ragtime. I know that The Golden Bowl will be an effort. I want to read 5 of them this year. I have a few on my shelves so I can make progress on a couple of goals at once with this one. I need to keep that in mind as I make my reading selections this year. It's worth noting that I used the library to get Ragtime. The library is an interesting factor in my reading goals. It helps on volume as I can borrow titles that are fun, easy, and quick, but the time I spend reading library books is time that I'm not reading books I own. The time limit I have with library books also tends to give them priority. If I waited weeks for a book, I have to get after it regardless of where I am with some physical book I already own. The waiting list books always seem to show up right as I am just getting into a print book.
I did not get down to 215 pounds this year. Eating was a refuge amidst all the calamity of this year. I always set a weight loss goal and I rarely meet the goal. Losing weight requires not eating too much and avoiding junk food. That was a challenge this year. Eating lunch at home makes it easy to eat too much and not make good food choices. I tend not to gain weight. I just don't lose much either. Maybe this is the year I find a way to stay committed to healthy eating and consistent workouts.
It looks like making good choices with how I use my time and prioritizing workouts and reading will be the secret to meeting my goals. Spend less time playing games, browsing social media, or other frivolous activities and focus on the things that really matter. A good way to make this happen will be to avoid getting too worn out. That requires getting to bed at a reasonable time on a consistent basis. And now we find the struggle that has been my life for pretty much the entire time that I've been living.
