I miss my workout volume goals, skip reading Dickens, avoid the hard books on my shelves, and make poor eating choices because I don't want to do things that are hard. Reading Dickens is hard. It requires effort and a bit of exertion. Dragging myself out of bed at 5 and getting out for a run when it's cold and dark sucks. Not just a little, it sucks big time. Sitting in the warm bathroom scrolling on my phone is pleasant. It's comfortable. It's easy. I want to realize the benefits of getting in my run, but overcoming easy inertia takes effort. Deciphering the convoluted sentences of The Golden Bowl takes focus. Mustering the mental energy to take on that challenge at the end of the day is a very non-trivial exertion. Lying in my bed and reading a thriller is a fun diversion. Why would I want to take on the effort (and occasional aggravation) of Henry James when I can just scroll through Twitter for a half hour? I would rather play Tetris then dig into a Jefferson bio. I just don't want to do the hard stuff.
Here is where I should reference some study on how immediate needs are prioritized over decisions that have long term benefits. My plight is just a specific example of a quirk in the human machine. Blah, I'm so over that genre of self-improvement. Just acknowledge that things suck and commit to getting it done anyway. I read a few pages of The Golden Bowl before taking on some more pleasant activities. I'm writing this before playing Tetris. I talked myself out of buying two books on the Kindle Daily Deal. There are not epic battles of will. They are just slight shifts in how I think about what I'm doing. Sure, I may not want to do it right now, but I can usually talk myself into doing what needs to get done after acknowledging that it may not be fun or exactly what I want to do in the moment. I will be open to small progress. Five pages of James are better than zero. Be patient. Those obnoxiously complex sentences will get easier to read as I find the flow and get into the groove of the language. It may be hard now, but it will get easier over time.
No big plans or strategies are needed. Just acknowledge that I'm avoiding doing something that is hard, acknowledge the truth of this, and do it anyway.
