Saturday, January 30, 2010

30Jan09 - Where has the time gone?

Before I get to something that has been on my mind all day, I just want to share two great ways that I have found to discover new beer and new music for not so much money. The music thing is a great site, lala.com. You can listen to any song on the site for free. It's like those old listening stations that they used to have in Tower but it's in the comfort of your own home (too bad Tower didn't think of this kind of thing, they might still be in business). I'm currently listening to some stuff by Porcupine Tree, which is a band frequently compared to one of my favorite bands, Oceansize. As for the beer, I made my own six pack at Whole Foods on Friday. I enjoyed a Flying Dog beer earlier tonight and I am currenly drinking Smuttynose Brewing's Old Brown Dog Ale. I like to try new beers, but I don't really want to spend $10 on a six pack only to end up with five beers that I don't want to drink. This way I'm only out $1.69 if I don't like the beer. I'm actually wishing that I had more of this Brown Dog Ale in the fridge. It's really good.

As for the topic that I hint at in the title of this post, I have finally accepted the finality of a decision that my mind made weeks ago but my professional ambition and ego are only starting to accept. I have mentioned that I spent a good chunk of last year applying to law school. I was applying to law school as a fall back option in case I lost my current job in my employer's acquisition by another large company. The deeper I got in the application process, the more the idea of going to law school appealed to me. While there are plenty of good reasons for me to get a law degree, I have to confess that my interest in law school had just as much to do with a desire to excel in law school as it did with the pursuit of my professional goals. I sat in one a class at the local law school (if they only had a part time program). I know it was only one class, but I think I would be a very good law student based on what I saw in that class. I would do really well in law school. Not just top quarter of the class but top 1% of the class. Getting to law school to see if I am right has been a strong driver in my law school plans. Well, I have finally accepted that there is no way I can pursue law school on a full-time basis (it looks like my job is secure so I won't need law school as a Plan B). As my local school does not have a part-time program, I will likely never find out if I could be a great law student.

While I could make the scroll bar really small writing on the death (or postponement) of my law school dream, a certain element of this process has caught my attention. I committed a huge chunk of my time and energy to my law school applications last year. LSAT prep, applications, and obsessive checking of various law school admissions sites were my number one free time activity last year (free time being that time when I do not have work of family obligations, the time that I usually use to read books or workout, ie, pursue my resolutions). What else could I have done that would have advanced my career or brought me closer to some achieving some other meaningful objective? While I can point to a number of very positive outcomes from my application cycle, there is certainly an element of wasted effort in the whole endeavor. But even writing that, I know that time wasn't wasted.

I enjoyed studying for the LSAT and working on my application essays. I knew that there was only a small chance that I would actually attend law school, but that didn't stop me from putting the best effort possible into my applications. Aside from the competitive aspect of seeing where I could get accepted, the application cycle hinted at another aspect of law school and a legal career that resonates with something deep inside me that I am vaguely aware of but don't really understand. I crave a career that will demand all of the mental and emotional energy that I don't put into my family. My current job doesn't demand my maximal effort. I give more effort than I absolutely have to. That effort has been recognized and rewarded, but a certain part of me wants a job that asks just a little bit more. I'm not necessarily looking for more hours, I just want something that will take a more focused mental effort. Law school and the options that a JD would give me would provide that extra challenge that I crave. I would like to know that I would fail to meet all of my resolutions because I would not have the mental energy to give to casual reading.

I started this post meaning to give myself a pep talk about finding ways to combine my job and my free time pursuits. Rather than applying to schools that I will likely never attend or submitting resumes for jobs in places that I will likely never live, I should pursue something that will give me an edge at work and more my career closer to the image that I developed during my law school application process. Rather wasting my time, why not focus it on something that will help me in the end? I can't give myself that pep talk right now. Maybe I'm just raw from forcing myself to acknowledge the end of my law school ambitions (I don't think I realized how much I wanted it), but any encouragement to pursue more career oriented actions just sounds bogus to me right now.

Where did my time spent on law school applications go? It wasn't squandered. The process focused my career aspirations and showed me something new about myself. I think that was worth the effort.

The beer is really good. I don't know about Porcupine Tree though. I don't think I'll be buying any of their stuff soon.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

26Jan - Blog Reset

Tracking my resolutions sounded like such a great blog idea, but it's actually pretty boring. Hey I bought a book, hey I finished a book! Great. These aren't posts that I'm really keyed up to write about either. How can I liven up this blog? (As nobody else is probably reading this thing, I really only have to make it interesting for me to write.) I haven't said anything about why I made these particular resolutions. I also haven't touched on the areas of my life that do not have a resolution associated with them (I'm thinking career here). At least exploring my resolution motivations and how I want to improve my career will give me something to write about between my book reading and other resolution activities.

More on that in coming posts...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

17Jan - Resolution Conflicts

I should never have included the resolution to get more sleep. The best time for me to read, workout, or do anything else by myself is late in the evening. I stayed up until 1am reading two nights this week. That's good progress towards my 16 books, but not so good for getting more sleep.

I'm starting to think that I should have specified a few of the books that I would like to read. I've been reading the same book since Christmas and I'm still not half-way through it. I'll need to read some quick books to stay on pace for 16 after I finish this one. Unfortunately, my reading selections will probably be based more on how long it will take me to read a book rather than my interest in reading it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

12Jan - Shrinking the mid-section

I read in a magazine that the ideal waist size is half of your height. I'm 6'2" so my waist should be 37 inches. My waist (as measured at my belly button) is a little over 40 inches. I have no idea what my weight will be if I manage to get rid of my spare tire, so I thought it would be better to focus on what I want to achieve rather than picking some arbitrary number to lose (like 20 pounds) or reach a magic weight (190? I have no idea). I'm about 220 (at least on our new digital scale, I was a little over 210 on our old analog one) now. We'll see how my weight changes as I lose fat.

I've been using the Spartacus workout published in Men's Health as my weight lose exercise. That workout lead to my resolution to send in my "after" picture for the Spartacus challenge. I signed up for the motivational aspect of the challenge. I submitted a before picture. I didn't want to not submit an after picture or have an after picture that could pass for a before photo. The first time I tried the workout I could barely make it through one cycle. I've been doing it for a few weeks and I managed to do two cycles last night with a little more rest than recommended in the instructions. Cardio has never been my thing so I like the approach of using intense weight training as a fat burning workout.

After I finish the workout, I walk on our treadmill for 15 minutes or so to take advantage of my heightened metabolic activity. I usually watch a DVD, but I'm between Netflix deliveries (The Hangover will be delivered tomorrow). I read while I was walking. It was a decent arrangement. If I get behind on my quest to read 16 books, I'll start using that treadmill time to get a few more pages read in whatever book is the easiest for me to read while walking.

Friday, January 8, 2010

08Jan10 - Resolution 2 Complete

I heard that I had been accepted to the Washington University in St. Louis School of Law earlier this week. I guess it's kind of cheating to have a 2010 resolution that was basically waiting for a response on work that I had done in 2009, but I did not plan on applying to law school when I made my resolutions for 2009. My resolution to get accepted into law school this year was my way of capturing the effort that I put into my law school applications (LSAT prep, personal statement writing, and all the related paperwork) in my annual resolution record. (You can read about my law school application cycle here.)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

03Jan10 - Getting Started

For the last several years, my wife and I have written down 5 or 6 Resolutions on New Year's Eve. The usual New Year's Resolution themes are present, lose weight, some kind of professional accomplishment, read this or that book. Before we make our resolutions for the coming year, we always go back and look at how we did on the year that is just being completed. I'm usually right around 0.500 on meeting my goals. This year, I missed meeting a resolution because I thought that I said I was going to read at least 10 books in 2009. I finished my 11th book a couple of weeks ago. When I looked at the list that has been in our copy of Joy of Cooking all year, I discover that I had resolved to read 12 books.

I need to keep my resolutions out in front of me, to focus on making a meaningful change in my life. I was going to keep a list around for an occasional reminder, but then I realized that keeping a blog and actually writing about my efforts to meet my resolutions is just the kind of reminder that I need to stay focused on a few high priority goals as the year goes on.

My resolutions for 2010 are at the top of this blog and will appear in the labels as I discuss each resolution. Let the change begin.