Play the game

Reality has no interest in your ideals. Telling yourself that a situation fits some preconceived ideal all the while ignoring signs that it is actually something quite different is the shortcut to failure. Events are not contingent on your emotional well-being. Look at things as they are and react accordingly. React accordingly simply means to do something that reflects the reality that you face rather embarking on some kind of quixotic quest to right some perceived injustice. 

That's enough of writing in a general way that people can apply to their own situation. I need to exorcise stuff that's been happening to me, which will require me to write in a specific way that directly relates to my experience. If my issues only cast a faint light on whatever crisis you're dealing with at the moment, I hope my story offers enough light to help you see a solution.

I spent the first few weeks as a team leader trying to figure out a way to reshape my little piece of the organization into my preferred form. I struggled with how to balance my ideal situation with what the organization expected from me. I fixated on how to realize visions that I've been having for years as some distinct entity rather than recognizing the reality of my situation. A conversation with somebody who has already trod this path and is very aware how to exploit the reality of the organizational situation for his own ends snapped me out of my overemphasis on my ideal. I was primed for this reorientation. The 15-20 minutes of reading The Generals and listening to lectures about the British mistakes in the Revolutionary War made me aware of the dangers of choosing the image of reality that makes us comfortable over the recognition of reality as it is. Ignoring facts is not an effective leadership strategy.

Success requires working within the system. My wife always tells me to play the game. That's excellent advice. My leadership has no concern for my ideal reality. They only care about their reality. I can't ignore that. I can like a candidate and advocate for her, but I can also recognize that a particular role may not be the best fit for her skills and ambitions. I may want to get more people like her into the organization, but acknowledging that she may fit better in a different role is more effective than railing against what I may think of as poor decision making by other people on the team. I shouldn't try to get everybody to see things my way all the time. It's more about getting people to see that my way of looking at things is very well aligned with what they want to accomplish. That's how I need to play the game.