Career Panel

I'll be 50% of a career panel tomorrow afternoon. I've participated in this panel for other sessions of this chemistry class, it's something about professional practices for chemists or some such thing, but this is the first time that I'm going in with a good deal of angst and uncertainty about the future of my career. I'm trying to decide if I want to lay all of my career uncertainty out there for these kids to see. I could go in and give the stock answers that everybody expects to hear, but I sense that I would be wasting an opportunity to work through some of the issues I'm having with my career. Talking about it out loud, discussing it with a group of undergraduates, and hearing what other people have to say may help me get out of the endless loop of doubt and uncertainty that I've been in for a few months.

My doubt and uncertainty has been increasingly acute this week. I keep revisiting how I handled questions about becoming a formulator. A purely career-driven response would have been an enthusiastic willingness to make the jump as soon as possible, but I had to get all introspective about it. I muddled the entire situation. The further away I get from those couple of days, the more I start to wonder if I really screwed the pooch. I'm sure I've mentioned it in previous posts, but my current position presents few opportunities for advancement. Moving out of the lab and into a design role is the best way for me to get some space to build my career. Have I missed my chance to make that move? More importantly, is that the right move for my career?

I have never had a grand vision for my career. Maybe that's my big problem right now. I want challenge and responsibility, the opportunity to solve interesting problems, and a chance to lead. But I also want to work on projects that are innovative and paradigm-shifting. I've been busting my ass for the last month and a half trying to launch a product that is already being sold by another company. I have to confess that it pisses me off to think about how hard I've been working for something that we're taking to market just to have something to launch this year. I could have been working on something cutting edge, but instead I'm working on a me too product. Regardless of how successful I become with my current company, what's the point if I don't really care about what I'm working on? My lack of a career goal isn't my big problem. My problem is working for a company that is happy to churn out the same old crap rather than taking a risk on something totally new.