Some things change, some things stay the same

I was just playing Tetris and making plans. I'm sure I played Tetris and made plenty of plans when I was a teenager trying to figure out where I wanted to go in life. I'm not sure what it means that I'm still playing Tetris and making plans. If nothing else it just shows how things don't really change all that much as we go through life. We age, our weight fluctuates, hair falls out in some places and grows in others, but all the load bearing parts of our life don't really change all that much. At least if we don't make the effort. We're pretty much the same person at the core of it as we meander through life. The circumstances of our life change, but I'm not sure that we change all that much unless we are honest with ourselves and really focus on making things different.

So what were the plans that I was making while I was playing Tetris? Some work stuff, some life stuff, some recognition that work stuff and life stuff don't always have to be so different. There needs to be more appreciation in my life for the things that I already have. I spend way too much time planning for things that I don't have. That's counter-productive. I have plenty of great things in my life. Making those great things even better is what I need to focus on this year.

I reread a recap post from the end of my first year writing this blog, 2010, before I started writing this post. It was exactly the kind of recap post that I was mocking earlier this week. It was a little disheartening to see that some things haven't changed in the past four years. Weight and fitness are still an issue. Still trying to read a Dickens book. I have finished my MBA though. I guess that's progress. I've read way more books. Only 25 that year. I've read close to forty this year. I'm a better husband. A better dad. My work situation is much different. My marriage is different. I live in the same house. I'm typing on a different computer. I've had more sex this year. I still don't get to bed as early as I should.

I need to get to bed now. I hope I can stop making plans and actually do the things I want. Or maybe I should realize that I'm really close to having what I want and I should stop making plans to get more of what I want, or at least realize that it's more about tweaks and optimization rather than wholesale change. That would be progress.