Year in Review - 2021

A year like no other. So much has happened. Tiffany said that I am
giving her a new life for Christmas. That's not hyperbole. Where
things stand in December of 2021 were nowhere in evidence in January
2021.

I'm slowly accommodating myself to the shape and feel of this new
life. Accepting the new has been easy. Letting go of the old has been
the real issue. For all my hesitancy and doubt, I knew that second
guessing my decision would be part of this process. Second guessing
isn't constructive or helpful, but it's also very difficult to build a
new life while wondering how things may have turned out if the other
choice had been made. The shadow of my old life fades with each day.
Looking ahead instead of constantly peeking at what lays behind me was
a big 2021 accomplishment.

Acknowledging that my life was about much more than checking arbitrary
goals from a list this year is where a review like this has to start.
What I set out to do at the beginning of the year was cast aside to
pursue a new job in a new state in a totally new living situation.
That became the focus. Running, reading, and getting healthier
remained important parts of my life. They just didn't look quite how I
thought they would when I took this look back at the end of the year.

Running:
I started the year recovering from a mystery knee ailment. I have no
idea why my knee started clicking and slipping last October. The
injury (if that's even the right word) worked itself out by the end of
January, but my running volume didn't get back to pre-injury volume
until I moved. I'm a few weeks from a marathon. I'm seriously
undertrained, but I'm trained enough that I can start the race pretty
confident that I can cover the entire distance. This is no small feat
given where I was as late as June. My runs were only a few miles. I
can look back and say that I was doing the absolute minimum for
running from late January, when my injury was behind me, up until I
started increasing my mileage once I was in Clearwater. I wasn't just
unmotivated, I was depressed. I was miserable in my job, mired in
remorse for work mistakes made over a year ago, and fed up with the
performative COVID restrictions (which included my kids remote
schooling at home). I was squeezing runs in right up until I had to
start work. I didn't give myself time for anything longer than a few
miles.

Overcoming that depression is the true accomplishment of 2021. A Kanye
song came on as I was writing that last paragraph. Listening to that
song and every other track from Yeezus was a big part of my spring
runs. I remember how I felt on those runs while listening to that
song. My self-doubt was intense. I was overwhelmed and stressed.
Emerging from that negative space is a big part of my sense that this
choice was right. I would have descended deeper into that hole had I
stayed my previous course. My fitness is still not where I would like
it, but I'm not spending runs trying to talk myself into finishing the
run.

I wisely avoided setting any running goals at the beginning of the
year. I wasn't sure how long it would take to recover from the knee
thing so I didn't know what was realistic. No sense planning for a
race either as there was no indication of when in-person races would
come back. This year was definitely a drop compared to previous years.
As of now, December 22, my total mileage for the year stands at 580
miles. I expect that I will be a bit over 600 miles by the end of the
year. This is my lowest total since 2016, which was also an injury
plagued year. My mileage total would be much lower if I had not
registered for the Disney Marathon. My primary motivation for signing
up for the race was to get me to increase the distance of my training
runs. I wanted to get back to where I could do a 10K or 10 miles
regularly. I'm back to that point. I guess I can say the marathon was
a success no matter how I do at the actual event as I have
successfully increased my training run distance. I would not have
increased the distance without the marathon. Running in Florida is not
the most pleasant experience. I would have skipped runs or cut them
short if I was just running rather than getting prepared for a
marathon.

I did expect to have more time to run once I was living down here by
myself. I thought I would be bored and looking for things to keep me
busy on the weekends, but that has not been the case. There have been
15 weekends since I started working at my new company. I have been
back in Virginia for 3 of those weekends. I'm not going to take two
hours on a Saturday or Sunday morning to run while I'm at home. We
were in Disney World for another weekend. That leaves 11 weekends open
for long runs in the Florida sun. I was moving one of those weekends.
I ran, but it was a short run. So I really only had 10 weekends for a
run of more than 10 miles. The number is really smaller than that when
you consider I needed a month or so to build back up to that distance.
So I really have 7 or 8 chances for a long run. My first weekend to
kick things up past 7 miles fell on one of my trips home. I did 8.5
miles the week after that (this was October 16). I broke 10 miles for
the first time in a very long time on October 23. I moved the
following Saturday. Instead of getting up to 11 or 12 miles, I ran
6.26 miles. I weaved all over my new neighborhood to get 13 miles the
first weekend in November. I took a break around mile 8 to get some
water and eat a snack. I took my car to get an oil change the Saturday
after that. I had a less than stellar run on Sunday. I got to 10 miles
and called it a day. We're up to November 20 now. I had a good 15 mile
run on the Pinellas Trail. I maintained a consistent pace and felt
good for the majority of the run. I should have taken more nutrition
at my last water stop, but I was pleased with the effort. I was 3 days
into a trip to Disney World with the family the following weekend.
Some people may be able to do 10 mile runs on property. I can't. I
flew back to Virginia the following Friday. No long runs over the
weekend. I decided that I could get in a long run on Monday, December
6. I did. I ran 13 miles, but it was broken into two runs with an hour
or so between them. I was still home the next Saturday, we're in early
December at this point, so I just did another shorter run. Last
Saturday, December 18, was my only Saturday at the Florida house in
all of December. The marathon is getting close, time to get in a
quality long run. I did a long run, 13.25 miles on the road with
another three quarters of a mile on a gym treadmill. The run was a
struggle. It was hot and I just was not feeling good. It was a bit
dispiriting to struggle at such a relatively short distance so close
to the marathon.

So what's my takeaway from this tedious review of my weekend runs? I
think I did the best I could with the time I had. The first trip home
came right as I was really building good momentum. That slowed me down
a step. The move was another derailer. I had to get out of my
apartment in one weekend. I was exhausted by the time I had everything
in the house. It sounds minor, but losing my running routes at the
apartment was something I had to overcome. I was just settling into
the area when I had to establish new routes. I still miss easy access
to the trails for the long weekend runs. I had that great 15 mile run,
and then I had a stretch of weekends where family came first. The
Disney trip was followed by two weekends at home. That was prime
training time that I readily sacrificed to family needs. There is a
pattern where I have a good long run and then I hit a derailer. I have
no idea how this fragmented training will show up in the actual
marathon. It will be my slowest one so far. Not that it matters. The
primary goal was realized. I just need to make sure I don't regress
and go back to 3 or 4 mile runs on Saturday mornings.

Reading:
I started the year with a few clear reading objectives. I accomplished
one of them by reading the very mediocre Riftwar Saga. My unrealized
goals boil down to me buying too many books and spending time doing
things other than reading. Starting a new job and moving to Florida
were also pretty hard to overlook factors. I set my reading goals
before I knew I would be moving, but I thought reading would be one of
my main activities after I moved. Wrong. I forgot that I actually have
to live while I'm here. My days weren't as empty as I had anticipated.
Shopping, cleaning, and all the other small tasks of living add up.
There would still be plenty of time to read if I made the effort. I've
been paying more attention to how I'm actually spending my time. I
don't ever prioritize reading. I did a small experiment where I set 30
minutes each night for reading. It made a difference. I always enjoy
reading (assuming the book is good) once I get started. It's just the
getting going that can be a challenge. Reading is always something I
will get to eventually. If I'm serious about wanting to read all these
books, I have to make reading a priority. I have plenty of time to set
aside for reading. I just spend time doing other things instead.

Lifting and other fitness goals:
This was the best year for lifting I've had in a long time. The amount
of weight I'm lifting always seems to plateau right around 270 for the
bench, but I was at that point for a pretty big chunk of the year.
Going to the gym is one of the things that gets prioritized over
reading. It's a big part of my life. I feel better when I lift.

The rower isn't with me and I don't have the time or motivation to use
the rowers at the gym. I need to row. It's the best way that I have to
get lower body work (at least right now). We'll see how it fits back
into my routine once it's back with me later in 2022.

My weight has floated between 220 and 230 all year. That's how it's
been for years. I enjoy eating too much. Will that change soon? Maybe,
but the odds are not good.

I could go on and discuss professional things, but this is already
long enough. The professional stuff is so extensive that it could be a
whole series of posts. Maybe later. Maybe never. Maybe I'll just read
instead.