I acknowledged a truth about myself a couple of days ago. I like science fiction and fantasy books. That should come as no surprise as I started the year reading two science fiction books and I ended the year reading two fantasy books. Nevertheless, if asked whether or not I was sci fi fan at this point last year, I would have firmly responded in the negative. I've read a few of those books, but that doesn't make me a fan of the genre. Besides, the people who read those books get dressed up for conventions, play Warcraft, and hang out a Reniassance fairs. That's not me. Well, I may not fit the stereotype, but I have to confess that I really like the genre.
Learning to accept truths about myself no matter how they may be viewed by some imaginary image jury that only exists in my head is one of the things I've definitely gotten better at this year. It started with buying that shirt. The process of selecting and buying a polo shirt with some details forced me to look at how I acquire clothes (which means taking a look at how I present myself). When I honestly evaluated my approach to style, I realized that I was still stuck in my high school mindset. That wasn't an easy truth for me to accept, but recognizing that fact was important. I realized that I needed to honestly critique my assumptions if I was ever going to change.
The next big question is, assuming I'm going to change, what should I change into? A quick look at my resolutions gives some insight into what I want to change about myself. Why did I choose these things to change? Let's take it on resolution at a time. The waist measurement was just my wrinkle to the perennial resolution to lose weight. I did lose weight. I'm down 10 pounds or so from last year at this time, but I was headed towards achieving this goal until I stopped working out and lost my desire to eat responsibly. I'm working towards getting back on track, but until I really acknowledge why I want to lose weight, I'll keep slipping back into my old ways. I want to be healthy, and I tell myself that's my motivation, but I really want to look good naked. I hate having a roll around my stomach. I don't need to see my abs or anything. I would just like my trunk to lack bulges.
I added the law school resolution to recognize all the effort that I put into my law school applications in the annual resolution review. I also knew it was something that I would be able to check off come resolution review time. The broader question is why I bothered applying in the first place. Despite the arguments that I made to myself about the alternative career, it was really more about seeing how well I could do on the LSAT. Once I had the LSAT score, it seemed like a waste to not apply to a few schools, especially once the fee waivers started coming in. I really enjoyed the challenge of the entire process. It was a challenge that pushed my intellectual abilities. I relish those kinds of challenges. I didn't really want to attend law school, I just wanted the challenge of the classes. (If it wasn't so damned expensive and I wasn't doing this MBA thing, it would be fun to take class, just to see how I could do). That just to see how I could do is a big element of my attraction to intellectual challenges. I'm getting that with my MBA classes. The MBA will be a great credential for my career, but I'm really motivated by the challenge to see how well I can learn the material.
Buying no more than 8 books (and reading 16 of them) has dominated this blog (at least that's my impression, I haven't reread much of what I've written). Books have always been a big part of my life. I'm an introvert. I get more pleasure from reading than going to a big party (although that statement can be modified depending on the party). Unfortunately, I tend to acquire new interests that I follow up with reading material faster than I can read the books that I bought following my previous interest in a topic. I want to read what I have, but the more I buy, the less likely I will be able to read the books I already own. I was hoping the eight book limit would slow my buying down enough that I could catch up a little bit. I read plenty this year, but only 6 of the 25 books I read this year were in my library on January 1, 2010. The other 19 were either new purchases or library books. I just want to focus on a topic and get to know it in depth. I'm so spastic with my reading material that I don't make much progress down any one road.
The Dickens resolution is my statement towards getting more intimate with a topic. By focusing on reading at least one Dickens novel a year, I get that much more acquainted with a particular writer. The only problem with Dickens is the length of his novels. It's takes so long to make it through one. They always go fast at the end, but getting to that point can require getting through some tedium. I'll keep that resolution on my list without modification until I've read all of his novels. I'll pick a new author after that. Next time I'll pick somebody who can tell their story in under 500 pages.
The Spartacus challenge was on my list to motivate me to workout, but it's along the lines of looking good naked. That workout really works. I had plans to do it a few times over my holiday break, but I have been able to hit the gym often enough that I don't need to use it here at the house. That may change in the coming weeks.
I need to get more sleep. There is nothing else to say about that.
As for next year. The biggest challenge will be buying 0 books (excluding textbooks for my classes). I will be shocked if I can go a whole year without purchasing a new book, but Tiffany has given me a nice incentive to keep my eye on the prize. I've been making a few purchases to get me through the year over the last several days. With my new found acceptance of my taste for fantasy, I've bought the rest of the Song of Fire and Ice (4 books), a new fantasy trilogy (3 books, duh), 2 books from a rather large fantasy saga, and the first book in a new series. Only one book has been written so I figured it won't hurt to get the whole series with a single purchase. I can't read school stuff during odd times so the fantasy books provide plenty of entertainment during the kids videos or other boring times.
I like the look better naked resolution. It's a vague target, but I think it captures the essence of what I'm shooting for better than a boring number.
I don't know how to set my book reading target for the year. I would do one a week, but that's not realistic with my classes. Besides, some of these fantasy books that I just bought are mighty thick. I think I will try for one a week when I don't have class. Anything over that will just be gravy. While I'm on the topic of books, one of the books I read in 2011 will be by Charles Dickens.
I'll try to come up with a couple more resolutions, but that's a good start.
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