Discontent...

I was talking to a coworker today. He's very unhappy with work and has very low motivation. I'm not as deep in the hole as he is, but I'm not too far behind. I thought the time off over the holidays would change the way I felt about work, but after a day or two of feeling more like my old self, I've returned to my discontent. I'm bored. I'm not motivated. I'm not working on anything that excites me. I'm not even all that motivated by working on my side research projects. I've been working on the same thing for so long I feel like I'm starting to spin my wheels. I've been working on this same problem for long enough. It's time to move onto a new challenge. I'm not alone. I can tell that most of the people I work with are bored, unmotivated, and not very happy with the situation. People are just happy to have a job. If you're just happy to have a place to go everyday and collect a paycheck, why bother.

The sad thing is, I can see how people head down this road. I've wondered why the senior people in my building never seem to go much beyond the minimum. They do what needs to be done. No more, no less. They've perfected the art of doing enough to stay relevant while not going too far to require some real effort. I have long wondered how somebody abandons the drive to achieve and just accepts where they are as good enough. I've reached that point on the career path. I can see the road that leads to contented acceptance of mediocrity and playing the game just enough to stay in the game. The option to just do what needs to get done and fill in the rest of the day with this or that is clearly a choice that I could make. The worst part is, I think I've started to accept that choice without really thinking about it. I'm not sure there is any other viable choice right now.

When the new organization was announced, I expressed my concerns that we would become an ineffective, rudderless organization that would flounder at the most simple and routine tasks. We're not bungling the simple stuff (yet), but we are ineffective and rudderless. I don't think it's just my group. The atmosphere of the building has shifted. There is no sense of urgency, no sense that we're getting things done. We're just showing up. The new projects that have come in quickly fizzle away into insignificance. Even projects that have some legs to them are getting neglected.

In thinking about what I can do about this, I don't see many options. Going to Mike would result in next to nothing. He'd probably just agree with me and that would be the end of it. He won't do anything to make a change. He's so focused on accomplishing tasks that he entirely overlooks the mood and tone of the lab. I could see myself getting a better response from other managers, but they can't do anything to change my situation. All I can see doing is telling Mike that I'm concerned about the next couple of years. Right about the time that I should be making a move into a position with a little more responsibility I'm going to be stuck working on the same old thing over and over again. I need to get things rolling my way again. I'm just not quite sure how to make that happen.