I liked this book for the same reason that I like Seth Godin's The Dip. Both books are an antidote to that little voice in your head that questions why you're doing something different. Wouldn't it be so much easier to do what's expected? Why not just fit into the mold and sail toward a comfortable middle management type of position? Why can't you just be competent? that little voice asks. Why do you keep working on all of this other stuff? Well, for me, that other stuff is the only reason I go to work each day. I would love to dump the office and just do my thing in the middle of the Texas sticks, but, unfortunately, my work requres more than some drawing supplies and great ideas. I do the work that's required by my company to provide the opportunity to satisfy my creative drive.
Hugh's work, this book, his blog, his cartoons, offer steady reassurance that doing what feels right will not come easy, and that's what makes it worth doing. He presents a compelling vision that each of has the opportunity to do work that matters. The pursuit of this opportunity does not require a fancy degree or acceptance into a high profile internship. Just start doing it. It will take guts, passion, and a willingness to sleep rough on occasion, but a little sacrifice is not so bad if it means you get to keep doing what you love.
Mediocrity, meeting everybody else's expectations, that stuff is easy. Making a difference, doing something that matters, and following your own vision, that's tough. Hugh's book makes it a little easier.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Progress
I've been going to the gym at lunch a couple of times a week during my lunch break for about a month. This is in addition to the one workout I get in over the weekend. I'm starting to see real progress. I feel stronger on the rowing machine and when I lift. I did 10 pull-ups in a row today. I could have done more. I should be able to do 20 (assuming I keep going to the gym, of course) before the end of the year with no problem. I took a shot at seeing where I was in my 1000 m on the rowing machine, but I went out too hard and lost my steam with 200 m to go. It didn't go well, but it made me realize that I need to do an occassional interval workout if I'm going to get better at the shorter distances. Just rowing 5000 m three times a week won't get it done.The rowing workouts have also given me an appreciation for small but consistent increases in effort. Cutting a few seconds off of my 5000 time requires me to work hard for the entire distance. I can't just go all out at the end and make up for slacking earlier in the piece.
While I'm getting stronger, the extra working out has increased my appetite. I've been eating to much and drinking too much beer on the weekend. My mom is taking my kids on Saturday night. I will drink too much beer again this weekend. Oh well. I'll make the decision to eat more carefully soon enough.
While I'm getting stronger, the extra working out has increased my appetite. I've been eating to much and drinking too much beer on the weekend. My mom is taking my kids on Saturday night. I will drink too much beer again this weekend. Oh well. I'll make the decision to eat more carefully soon enough.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Glory or Security
I've been struggling with work this week. I'm right in the thick of a highly visible project. I have my hands in two important milestones needed to keep the project moving forward. I want roles like this, high stakes, plenty of responsibility, but I'm not very good at the task needed for one of the milestones. There are also so many moving pieces that I only have so much control over the project's progress. I'm close to finishing my part of the process. I just hope it goes smoothly after that.
As for the other milestone, I think I may have been a little too vocal in a meeting this morning. Two managers were expressing opposing views on a situation that has come up in the highly visible product. One manager thinks the issue is of little concern and we should just go about our business. The other manager has serious concerns and feels that we should proceed with extreme caution. I tend to agree with the position that the issue is not a big deal, but I made the argument that the cautious approach has significant merit. I was just trying to keep my meeting on track. I spoke to the manager I argued against after the meeting. I told him that I agreed with him even though I argued the other point. Looking back, I'm wondering if that was a good idea. That thought is immediately followed by questions as to whether or not the soundness of that confession matters at all.
I refuse to get really deep in work place politics. I do all that I can to protect my reputation, but I don't try to flatter or get ahead by manipulating a situation. As it relates to this situation, my reputation will rise or fall on whether or not my contributions to the project are in place so the project can move forward. Comments or arguments that I made in a meeting are not likely to have too significant an impact. As I've been replaying the meeting in my head, I've realized that I was far more aggressive in staking a position than a colleague who is driving other aspects of the project. His reaction to the attention given to the project has been one of dread and fear. I suspect that his managers have been leaning on him heavily to get things moving. Rather than accepting the situation as an opportunity to demonstrate his ability, I can tell that he's already planning his defensive position if things don't go well.
I have to wonder if it's better to take a firm stance in a meeting and be willing to put everything in a project to try and make it a success or if it's better to passively observe in a contentious meeting and not to put too much into a project if there is no clear success at the end. I plan on going all out (especially after I'm free of the burden that I've been bearing for weeks now), but is this the naive position? I would rather not work in an organization that tries to avoid failure rather than pursue success, but I know that my organization is extremely risk averse and always takes the position with the lowest level of risk (and reward). We would rather not lose than go for the win and fall short.
We always seem to make the safe play. That play keeps us safe, but it doesn't get us ahead. We're content to mill in the middle of the pack. I don't like the middle of the pack (high Z scores, remember). Will I bend to the organization or can I get the organization to bend to me?
As for the other milestone, I think I may have been a little too vocal in a meeting this morning. Two managers were expressing opposing views on a situation that has come up in the highly visible product. One manager thinks the issue is of little concern and we should just go about our business. The other manager has serious concerns and feels that we should proceed with extreme caution. I tend to agree with the position that the issue is not a big deal, but I made the argument that the cautious approach has significant merit. I was just trying to keep my meeting on track. I spoke to the manager I argued against after the meeting. I told him that I agreed with him even though I argued the other point. Looking back, I'm wondering if that was a good idea. That thought is immediately followed by questions as to whether or not the soundness of that confession matters at all.
I refuse to get really deep in work place politics. I do all that I can to protect my reputation, but I don't try to flatter or get ahead by manipulating a situation. As it relates to this situation, my reputation will rise or fall on whether or not my contributions to the project are in place so the project can move forward. Comments or arguments that I made in a meeting are not likely to have too significant an impact. As I've been replaying the meeting in my head, I've realized that I was far more aggressive in staking a position than a colleague who is driving other aspects of the project. His reaction to the attention given to the project has been one of dread and fear. I suspect that his managers have been leaning on him heavily to get things moving. Rather than accepting the situation as an opportunity to demonstrate his ability, I can tell that he's already planning his defensive position if things don't go well.
I have to wonder if it's better to take a firm stance in a meeting and be willing to put everything in a project to try and make it a success or if it's better to passively observe in a contentious meeting and not to put too much into a project if there is no clear success at the end. I plan on going all out (especially after I'm free of the burden that I've been bearing for weeks now), but is this the naive position? I would rather not work in an organization that tries to avoid failure rather than pursue success, but I know that my organization is extremely risk averse and always takes the position with the lowest level of risk (and reward). We would rather not lose than go for the win and fall short.
We always seem to make the safe play. That play keeps us safe, but it doesn't get us ahead. We're content to mill in the middle of the pack. I don't like the middle of the pack (high Z scores, remember). Will I bend to the organization or can I get the organization to bend to me?
Friday, January 28, 2011
My sentence
Dan Pink has this thing about stating your purpose, drive, motivation in a single sentence. The point is to get to the core of your motivation in as few words as possible. I have not given significant conscious effort to this exercise, but it has been rolling around in my unconscious for a few weeks. That effort bore fruit while I was at the gym this afternoon. It hit me while I was getting ready to do some pull-ups. All of sudden, "He pushed for a big Z score" popped into my head. It's utter gibberish to most people (and would have been gibberish to me too until I read about Z scores for my stats class), but at that moment it was very motivating.
A Z score is used to determine if a data point is an outlier. While I don't strive for outlier status in most aspects of my life, I also crave something more than the mediocre and routine. The higher the Z score, the further away you get from the meaty part of bell curve. Interesting things happen at the edges. The center is easy satisfaction and contentedness with the status quo. The action is at the edge. The edge requires effort. Seeing how I've been feeling about my job and career, this silly little statement has given me a new way to look at my situation and what I might do to get excited about work again.
My life does not have the trappings of the extreme, but I make strong efforts in my activities, however mundane they appear. If I'm going to spend time on a rowing machine or doing research projects, I might as well make a strong commitment.
A Z score is used to determine if a data point is an outlier. While I don't strive for outlier status in most aspects of my life, I also crave something more than the mediocre and routine. The higher the Z score, the further away you get from the meaty part of bell curve. Interesting things happen at the edges. The center is easy satisfaction and contentedness with the status quo. The action is at the edge. The edge requires effort. Seeing how I've been feeling about my job and career, this silly little statement has given me a new way to look at my situation and what I might do to get excited about work again.
My life does not have the trappings of the extreme, but I make strong efforts in my activities, however mundane they appear. If I'm going to spend time on a rowing machine or doing research projects, I might as well make a strong commitment.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Cul-de-sac
Over the Christmas holidays, when there were maybe two dozen cars in a parking lot that usually has a couple of hundred spaces filled, I felt like I had to work while I was at work. I sensed this need to get something done as the expectation would be that I came to work and idly spent my hours on anything but work. I managed to get a long overdue report completed in those two days. I don't feel that way when I show up for work on a regular day. I have things that need to get done, but there is no real urgency to get them finished now. I fill my day with useful activities, but I feel like I'm just doing something to do something for most of the day. The sad thing is that I could be doing nothing and it would have about the same impact on my performance.
I have considered trying an experiment to see how little I can do without my performance (at least the perception of my performance) being negatively impacted. I won't do it, but the fact that I could is rather depressing. You start to question why you bother going to work when there is really no point in being there in the first place (other than putting in the required hours to collect a paycheck). I want to push my career forward and accomplish something. That's not going to happen if my situation doesn't change soon.
I have actually never thought about it in those terms until I wrote that I won't be able to accomplish my career goals if I stay stuck in my current position. I feel thwarted, held back from doing more by the structure and leadership of my current group. I have expressed what I would like to see the group become, but I have little influence in making that happen. I can't even get a meeting with my manager to talk about what I would like to accomplish. I've considered talking to one of my previous managers. If nothing else, I hope he would keep an eye open for opportunities that would give me a chance to do something new. I want to stretch my skills. I'm definitely not doing that now.
I have been in contact with a recruiter about a senior R&D position. She's looking for people who may fit the needs of her client. I just want to put myself in contention. If I could get an interview, I think I could get the interviewers to give me a very serious look, despite my relative lack of experience. I feel the need to make a bold move, and this would be a relatively low risk but significantly ballsy maneuver. She's sending me a detailed job description tomorrow. I hope I can squeeze my qualifications into the position's requirements.
I have considered trying an experiment to see how little I can do without my performance (at least the perception of my performance) being negatively impacted. I won't do it, but the fact that I could is rather depressing. You start to question why you bother going to work when there is really no point in being there in the first place (other than putting in the required hours to collect a paycheck). I want to push my career forward and accomplish something. That's not going to happen if my situation doesn't change soon.
I have actually never thought about it in those terms until I wrote that I won't be able to accomplish my career goals if I stay stuck in my current position. I feel thwarted, held back from doing more by the structure and leadership of my current group. I have expressed what I would like to see the group become, but I have little influence in making that happen. I can't even get a meeting with my manager to talk about what I would like to accomplish. I've considered talking to one of my previous managers. If nothing else, I hope he would keep an eye open for opportunities that would give me a chance to do something new. I want to stretch my skills. I'm definitely not doing that now.
I have been in contact with a recruiter about a senior R&D position. She's looking for people who may fit the needs of her client. I just want to put myself in contention. If I could get an interview, I think I could get the interviewers to give me a very serious look, despite my relative lack of experience. I feel the need to make a bold move, and this would be a relatively low risk but significantly ballsy maneuver. She's sending me a detailed job description tomorrow. I hope I can squeeze my qualifications into the position's requirements.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Great-great-great
My mom showed me a picture of her mother's grandmother. That would be my great-great-great-grandmother. Her name was Mary Jane Swindler. She looks like she's in her early 20's in the picture. My great-grandmother was born in 1902 or 1903 so I'm guessing the picture was taken right around the turn of last century. Seeing one of my relatives from that long ago was a very odd experience. I've often wondered how my family came to the states and what they did once they got here. The picture looks refined so I'm guessing there was some money in the family. My mom was telling me that the family owned a bunch of land. I guess that was the origin of their wealth.
Based on a quick internet search, it looks like the Swindlers were in northwest Ohio since the middle of the 1850's at least. That's good information on one side of my family. My great-grandmother lived into her 90's so I have many memories of her. I'm glad that I have the most information on her family rather than some other random relative.
Based on a quick internet search, it looks like the Swindlers were in northwest Ohio since the middle of the 1850's at least. That's good information on one side of my family. My great-grandmother lived into her 90's so I have many memories of her. I'm glad that I have the most information on her family rather than some other random relative.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Discontent...
I was talking to a coworker today. He's very unhappy with work and has very low motivation. I'm not as deep in the hole as he is, but I'm not too far behind. I thought the time off over the holidays would change the way I felt about work, but after a day or two of feeling more like my old self, I've returned to my discontent. I'm bored. I'm not motivated. I'm not working on anything that excites me. I'm not even all that motivated by working on my side research projects. I've been working on the same thing for so long I feel like I'm starting to spin my wheels. I've been working on this same problem for long enough. It's time to move onto a new challenge. I'm not alone. I can tell that most of the people I work with are bored, unmotivated, and not very happy with the situation. People are just happy to have a job. If you're just happy to have a place to go everyday and collect a paycheck, why bother.
The sad thing is, I can see how people head down this road. I've wondered why the senior people in my building never seem to go much beyond the minimum. They do what needs to be done. No more, no less. They've perfected the art of doing enough to stay relevant while not going too far to require some real effort. I have long wondered how somebody abandons the drive to achieve and just accepts where they are as good enough. I've reached that point on the career path. I can see the road that leads to contented acceptance of mediocrity and playing the game just enough to stay in the game. The option to just do what needs to get done and fill in the rest of the day with this or that is clearly a choice that I could make. The worst part is, I think I've started to accept that choice without really thinking about it. I'm not sure there is any other viable choice right now.
When the new organization was announced, I expressed my concerns that we would become an ineffective, rudderless organization that would flounder at the most simple and routine tasks. We're not bungling the simple stuff (yet), but we are ineffective and rudderless. I don't think it's just my group. The atmosphere of the building has shifted. There is no sense of urgency, no sense that we're getting things done. We're just showing up. The new projects that have come in quickly fizzle away into insignificance. Even projects that have some legs to them are getting neglected.
In thinking about what I can do about this, I don't see many options. Going to Mike would result in next to nothing. He'd probably just agree with me and that would be the end of it. He won't do anything to make a change. He's so focused on accomplishing tasks that he entirely overlooks the mood and tone of the lab. I could see myself getting a better response from other managers, but they can't do anything to change my situation. All I can see doing is telling Mike that I'm concerned about the next couple of years. Right about the time that I should be making a move into a position with a little more responsibility I'm going to be stuck working on the same old thing over and over again. I need to get things rolling my way again. I'm just not quite sure how to make that happen.
The sad thing is, I can see how people head down this road. I've wondered why the senior people in my building never seem to go much beyond the minimum. They do what needs to be done. No more, no less. They've perfected the art of doing enough to stay relevant while not going too far to require some real effort. I have long wondered how somebody abandons the drive to achieve and just accepts where they are as good enough. I've reached that point on the career path. I can see the road that leads to contented acceptance of mediocrity and playing the game just enough to stay in the game. The option to just do what needs to get done and fill in the rest of the day with this or that is clearly a choice that I could make. The worst part is, I think I've started to accept that choice without really thinking about it. I'm not sure there is any other viable choice right now.
When the new organization was announced, I expressed my concerns that we would become an ineffective, rudderless organization that would flounder at the most simple and routine tasks. We're not bungling the simple stuff (yet), but we are ineffective and rudderless. I don't think it's just my group. The atmosphere of the building has shifted. There is no sense of urgency, no sense that we're getting things done. We're just showing up. The new projects that have come in quickly fizzle away into insignificance. Even projects that have some legs to them are getting neglected.
In thinking about what I can do about this, I don't see many options. Going to Mike would result in next to nothing. He'd probably just agree with me and that would be the end of it. He won't do anything to make a change. He's so focused on accomplishing tasks that he entirely overlooks the mood and tone of the lab. I could see myself getting a better response from other managers, but they can't do anything to change my situation. All I can see doing is telling Mike that I'm concerned about the next couple of years. Right about the time that I should be making a move into a position with a little more responsibility I'm going to be stuck working on the same old thing over and over again. I need to get things rolling my way again. I'm just not quite sure how to make that happen.
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