A Spoonful of Sugar

There is a guy in another analytical group who offers a preview of what I may become. I've never worked with him, but people hold him in pretty high regard. He's come to my presentations and asked challenging questions. He's technically savvy, but he also complains to no end about the culture of our building and decisions made by our senior managers. When I hear him go off on his rants, I want to ask him why he stays. If it's so horrible, why not find a different job?

I don't know why he sticks around, but I'm afraid that I could be in the same situation myself in a decade or so. For all my criticism of the division's strategy, I'm not doing anything to find employment with a different company. A part of me is starting to accept that I could be with PCH for a long time. Making the decision to stick with the company comes with accepting the crappy culture and the questionable strategy. It also means working on projects that are not innovative and cutting-edge. They're about getting products to the market for the simple objective of having a presence in the market place. Regardless of what I write here or say to my friends, if I stick with the company, I've implicitly accepted that those activities are valuable.

But then I work on a little problem that crops up on a project and get a little bit of success on finding an answer. I can be in the pit of despair hearing about the importance of some retread project only to be lifted to near ecstasy when a little blip appears on the baseline of a chromatogram. I experienced this Janus of emotions on Tuesday. I was trying to figure out the best way to find a new job after leaving a group meeting, only to be ready to float home when an experiment offered hope that I may be closer to answering a vexing question about the project that has been at the center of my work world for most of this year.

For all the crap I have to deal with, I do get to pursue my crazy notions without too much interference. This is a powerful incentive to stick around. While it would be nice if these problems were on products that might offer something new, the thrill I get from solving the problem is independent of its social significance. These experiments make my job bearable. Take them away, and I would be miserable. I keep hoping that I can have a role in shifting the culture to something a little more focused on solving problems. That hope is slowly fading, but until it's totally gone, I expect that I will keep finding reasons to convince myself to stay at PCH.

Perhaps that expectation is the best reason to start looking for something else right away...